soul mate

My twin sister Jessica is my soul mate.  I mean, we were split in two so I'm pretty sure we each have part of the same soul.

The day we headed off to college was one of the saddest days of my life.  I remember laying awake in my tiny bed, in my new dorm room, on my first night and not knowing how to feel or how to be.  How would I make friends without my best friend by my side?  How would I survive class?  How would I go to the grocery store by myself?  Who was going to tell me that my outfit should never see the light of day?

The next years were hard, but we both grew.  We became braver and more independent.  We experienced things the other did not.  We took trips, met friends, got our hearts broken, fell in love and graduated.  The next years were even harder.  I headed off to Texas for graduate school and took a blind leap into the unknown, alone.  I was so used to everyone knowing I was a twin back home that it was a strange feeling for new people in my life to not automatically know this about me.  Our whole life we had been known as "The Twins" which always annoyed me. But here, hundreds of miles away from home, I wished and hoped that just once someone would refer to me as one of "The Twins".  

Life has taken us both down different paths and we are happy in our careers and little families.  And even though its been years since we lived in the same state and we've grown accustomed to these separate lives, we miss each other with all of our hearts.  I guess we've become grownups during this time because lets face it, it would have been crazy for us to not have learned how to function in the real world without the other nearby.   

But you see, the truth is, even though we are grownups and we live wonderful, independent lives, I just don't function my best without her.  

On the rarest of rare days that we can't talk I feel like there is a hole in my day.  Who can I tell that for a brief second after lunch it smelled exactly like the skating rink we used to go to when we were little?  And there's no doubt that she will understand completely---my co-workers at lunch would just look at me weird!  Or what if I have to describe a color and the only description I can come up with is that it is that shimmery color from that one ride in Disney World?  And of course my sister would say, "Oh right! The one with the dragon.  I know that color."  

I usually talk to Jessica on my way home from work each evening which can last from 5 minutes to an hour :) .  The minute we say, "hi" a feeling of complete contentment washes over me. 

Even living 2000 miles away, our lives are interwoven.  They are forever connected.  You always hear of twin struggles--of those twins who yearn to be their own self and independent of each other.  At least for us, this is impossible.  While we have our own distinct personalties and preferred nail polish color, we are our most true selves when we are together.  We are soul mates.

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Happy Birthday to my sister.  I'm glad I get to share this special day with you always!