The card

I received the news when I got home from work early last week that a dear friend had passed away.

My heart immediately sunk into my stomach.

Life is so unfair sometimes.  

He had been battling brain cancer for many years, with spouts of remission, but this past year had been a struggle.

I had just gotten an e-mail a few weeks ago that he had met with the doctors and they had given him about a year to live. I didn't even know how to write him back just then.  What do you say?  So I went to the drug store and stood in front of the cards for over 30 minutes, trying to find the perfect card, which ended up being blank inside because Hallmark couldn't find the words either.

The card sat on my counter and every day I looked at it, knowing I needed to send it.

But I didn't send it in time.

Now all I can do is to continue staring at the card.

Guilt is a terrible beast.

So I guess I will write it here, because maybe in heaven they have internet and maybe it will selfishly make me feel better.

Jeremy,

I was going to start by telling you that I don't know if I have the right words to say, to give you the comfort and peace you need.  But I now hope that you have found the comfort and peace you longed for, for so many years. 

You touched my life in such a special way.  Moving to Texas was a hard transition and I have no doubt in my mind that it would have been even harder without meeting you.  

Do you remember all the dinner/dance parties in LeighAnne's living room?  And that one time we went to that club in the shady part of Lubbock and we all drank too many cranberry and vodkas?  You made me laugh uncontrollably and were so incredibly kind and generous.

Those two years were better because of you and I thank you for being a part of my life.  I read the other day a quote that seems quite fitting now.

"We met for a reason, either you're a blessing or a lesson"

You were both. A blessing as a friend and a lesson to teach me things like what real strength and resilience is.

miss you

xoxo

kate